Ginger biscuits and a movie premier!

So as we move into week 17 bubs #2 is about 5 inches long from bot to head and definitely having a wriggle around now.

I'm did try to bake something of vague size comparison, ginger buttercream biscuits - partly for Granny C for looking after J at hers this week, due to a slight vom situation Pip and I found ourselves dealing with too early Tuesday morning - however, they were so darn delicious that I didn't really get a chance for a photo...
Here's the recipe for anyone that wishes to give it a whirl, note if you work with me, please bring them into the office :)  Despite not being a fan of ginger, mum is hence making them with her in mind, I would still up the teaspoons of ground ginger to give them a bit of a kick.

My 16 week midwife appointment went well, despite leaving a nasty scratch on another car in the car park.  I did leave a grovelling note of apology on the wind screen but haven't heard anything back, thus adding to the guilt I feel.  Our car is bright red, their Volvo was a very black, black.  And now has a small red go faster stripe down its drivers door...
Anyway, all seems well with me and baby, heart rate, blood pressure (despite the car prang!) and wee check all in order and I don't go back until I'm 28 weeks.  I said to the midwife sounded ages away, especially when you think that its 12 weeks before baby is due, oh my!
She said that if I feel I want to have a chat with someone I can always book in a further appointment but for "low risk" pregnancies 2nd time round they are happy not to see you!

Now we're just waiting for the 2nd scan to come around and it feels that so many more people are keen to know if we are going to find out the flavour of this baby.  I'm not sure, is the short answer.  Does it matter to us either way?  Not in the slightest.  Do I have an inkling for a girl so we're equal?  Not especially, though I do Love our chosen girls name!  Would it be nice to know so we know whether to go shopping or not?  Maybe, but thats only because I'm me and prefer everything in order.  Something I have learnt rapidly simply has to go out the window a lot with a small person around, let alone 2.

Pancake anyone?

In other news James has particpated in his first proper Shrove Tuesday, by participate I really mean, had a pancake with Nutella in it and ended up with more on him then in him but I think its border line right of passage to have a "messy face" photo when you're little...

Not quite pancake day but spot the choccie spread...

Discovering the fun of a den this week

 Ali and I went on a bit of a jolly this week and were lucky enough to have a preview of The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel through Pips work.  A local charity was launching a new scheme that involves encouraging older people back into a local community via the medium of cinema, I hadn't realised quite what the evening was for and while the speeches went on for a while longer than we had thought, Student Union cinema seats are not os comfy as they could be, it was really interesting to hear about the work the charity does: http://www.damaris.org.uk/ 

It was a great premier evening and Ali and I had a great time, I'd absolutely recommend the film to those who enjoyed the first one, Maggie Smith is tremendous and educates americans in the finer art of making a cup of tea.

Me and the sis

Me and the almost there bump

Hopefully below you can see the dancers that greeted everyone as we left the showing!

Disclaimer: this post has not been proof read by Pip, I hold my hands up to any typos, spelling or grammar errors

Week 15; shoes and meringues

This week I am into week 15 of this pregnancy, maybe because I think I'm feeling some movements in the last few days I feel like this is a big deal. 15 weeks in, 25 to go; in 6 months time our new addition should (had better) be here.  It shall have a name, an identity and a big brother that will be trying to gauge what "it" is and what it does with "it".

According to some info I have read bubs #2 is approx 4 inches in length this week, the size of an apple.  Now I'm not sure what sort of apple this app is referring to but judging by the last lot that were in our veg box ones from a different tree...

To me 4 inches is the size of a good, non-work, pair of shoes.  Shoes for a night out; drinks, dinner, the cinema.  Most things that are a distant memory for me at the moment!  Last pregnancy I had to put most of my shoes away fairly early as my feet started to swell up (sniff, sniff) but so far all is well on that front so when I saw a pair of these on sale this weekend, it was rude not to!  These are for work and should put a spring in my step that has definitely been missing in my current work shoes, black and boring and originally purchased to wear only as uniform for concerts...

We've been up to Sue's this weekend and it always seems to involve shopping, more than I'd do in a weekend at home anyway and I managed to avoid The Wool Shop, which was completely unintentional as I actually need 2 sets of new needles but there we go.

I have made some meringues this week, which are more akin to the size this baby actually is at the moment and they are not lasting very long so I took a snap before we finished them!

At the moment our curent baby, who I must stop calling that, seems to be changing daily.  His comprehension is amazing - to us anyway! - he understands so many things, instructions, and knows where to go for his coat, tries to put on socks, shoes and hats.  He loves to "read" at the moment and very studiously sits and turns the pages on any sturdy book he can find.  We have recently purchased a couple of new books and I have discovered Zog the dragon, written by the same couple that wrote The Gruffalo, I am officially a Zog convert.
James is very helpful and emptying the food shopping and handing it to Pip or I seems fun, something that I am sure will wear off all too quickly!
He's weighing in at a pleasing 22lbs and the health visitor last week thought he was "very sociable, happy and alert" which is always nice to hear.

We're back to the midwife next week, here's hoping all is in order!

The scan and official news

This afternoon Pip and I have seen baby D #2 on the screen.  Still a teary moment.  A little heart beat fluttering away and even a few obliging gulps or hiccups as well!

Shocker for the NHS we actually went in early for our scan and were back out again in about 10 mins.  I am sure it took longer first time round.  All appears well at this stage, all limbs and important bits are present, bubs was wiggling around but more twitching is legs than waving, as James was for he first scan.

It is the most incredible thing to watch something no longer than my thumb looking like an actual person.  The female body is truly an incredible thing.

We will spend the next day or so ensuring family are informed then start to spread the news to the wider circle.

For now our scan pictures:

Tomato Soup

Heinz tinned tomato soup has made a come back into my life.  Which, as I generally can't bear the thought of it, means I am definitely pregnant.

Towards the end of my last pregnancy I ate it almost every day for lunch, it was as close as I came to a craving.  Pip did try me on it post baby but it was an epic fail, so strange though it is, my pregnant self seems to require tinned tomato soup.

Baby 2 #2 is now about the size of a small mince pie and so far I have had less queasiness than last time, which is fabulous.  Other than having finger nails that have gone to ruin and having been seriously tired, I wouldn't really know that I am pregnant at the moment!

Little and large mince pies

Today we've been to see the midwife to register and go through current medical history and James birth, we already knew that we'd have to head to labour ward rather than a birth centre with the next baby but other than that all seems well blood test and other samples were taken and our scan appointment should come through soon.

I have also had my assessment from the Steps to Wellbeing team and while the practitioner acknowledged that it sounded like I had been fairly unwell with PND it seems now I score low enough on their scale not to require any treatment at the moment.  Hurrah! 
I found it very reassuring to know that I hadn't been myself as it gives me hope and reassurance that things will be different once bubs #2 is here.  And if I feel myself going down that path I am more aware of what isn't "just because I am a new mum" and can seek the right help and a sensible time.

In other news...

Christmas has been and gone and we are firmly into 2015.  We had a lovely time as Pip and I both had the whole 2 weeks off.  James decided to take his first steps on Christmas day.  Exceptional timing as it was in front of both Grannies (and Auntie Ali).  Since then his confidence has grown daily and while he still looks a little drunken he can now manage "walks" round the house almost unaided.

Auntie Ali and James after meeting Father Christmas

We took trips out and chilled out at home, Pip was a superstar and allowed me a lie-in most days to fend off the preggo tiredness, just as James adopted the new habit of stirring at half 5 and sleep-whining until we'd cave and give him some warm milk which 80% of the time saw him back off to sleep for a while. 

I have made a pact with myself to try a few more home bakes and makes this year.  I really enjoyed the spot of sewing I did for our advent calendar and has sights set on a dress to wear to Rob's wedding in September, loose fitting and lump and bump covering being the key parts of that design!

Our new advent calendar

I shall try and tie in the baking with baby sizes just to keep it entertaining for me as I work out what on earth to do with ?fruit/vegetable? there will probably be a few knits in there as well, who knows I might finish the blanket I started for James!

Orange and Cranberry Cake

A diagnosis

Yesterday Pip and I went to the Dr for 2 reasons; one to tell her about baby number 2 and the second to tell her that I think I have been dealing with post-natal depression.

After much discussion with the Dr. about how I have felt, more towards James' first few months than more recently, the Dr was in agreement that our assumption is indeed correct.  She was very supportive and kind which helped me to open up about all that has been going on since James arrival. 
Admitting some of the things I had rattling around my head about James and sometimes Pip sounded so very different when uttered out loud to how they were in my head.

On this occasion, best out in the open, where someone understands and can recommend different types of support to help myself and my family.

It's very hard to write this as I don't really know what to type and yet I feel its important to document whats been happening as it has had an effect on me and I worry about how it could effect James and little munchkin (Pips nickname for bubs) in the future.

I've now read a small amount of information on PND and it seems not feeling yourself is quite a common symptom, which is reassuring because for quite some time that's the only way I could have described it, if I had felt I could discuss with someone.  Low and "cup half empty" are probably 2 others.  The trouble is in the midst of it part of me was thinking; you're lacking sleep, other people have cry-y babies too, it'll pass...

It didn't, instead I got a little bit more anxious about anything as time crept by, i questioned my abilities as a mother - how could something I'd wanted to be for years be so opposite to how I imagined?, I took little pleasure in spending time with James and worried about what people thought of the mother who couldn't stop her baby crying - in my mind - all the time.

Very illogical, very un-Jill when in a more normal frame of mind but there it is.

By the time J was 6 months the worst had worn off but I still have a day or two of feeling low and emotional, with a bleak outlook but they pass.  However now I am pregnant with another and while this baby will be a summer baby and therefore weeks of endless rain, that made James and I housebound, are minimal I do not wish to repeat the experience and certainly don't wish James to get caught up in the moodiness and upset that could happen.  My son's earliest memories should involve laughter and fun and happy times, not an irritable shouty mother who never seemed happy or content.

So there we are, I am documented on the healthcare system and no doubt will have a slightly beadier eye from both the hubs and the healthcare staff as this pregnancy and first few weeks of the new baby roll by.

How you know your husband is a superhero...

These last few days we have been struck down (possibly a touch too dramatic a description) by a grim d and v bug.

James seems to have bought it in on Wednesday with the most epic vomming I have ever seen.  I slightly surreal moment that has you kinda watching it in amazment while your brain is saying "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww".
Pip stepped in to sort it all out as I was mid-baking for a Coffee Morning on Friday.
 
 Moments later James was happy as larry rolling around after a ball and seemed right as rain for the next few days, apart from learning how to vom and doing so for the next 3 days until Pip foiled him on Saturday...

Pip woke up Friday feeling "not quite right" and was home an hour and a half later and spent most of the day in bed, into town J and I headed to finish off the Christmas shopping and home we came with a "get well soon" minion balloon (I always find flowers for men a bit odd). I was feeling a touch smug for feeling a-ok and got ready for the work Christmas do (I may have singed my ear twice and my forehead once while using the heated tongs) and had a jolly good, sober, night!

And then, sure enough, muggins came down with it Saturday.

Out the window went our plans to head to the Tree Festival at church and a trip to Poole to deliver gifts to Uncle Jon and Aunty Lisa.

Note early pregnancy and said bug are not a good blend.  I was doing ok until I smelt Pips fried egg sandwich (he was feeling better Saturday) and then that was me off to bed too.

Lovely stuff.

Step in superhero husband (fanfare please).  Despite feeling better, see above reference, Pip was still pretty beat but took on James-care (note last attempt at vomming was today) while I felt sorry for myself upstairs. All meals, nappies and full on entertainment were overseen by daddy.

After little sleep for me on Saturday night Sunday comes around and down the pan go the plans to attend the nativity with James.

Superdad steps in while I literally didn't get out of bed.  As he felt James probably needed some fresh air he wandered off to Shirley for supplies and left me writing Christmas cards and watching a Christmas movie.
On his return I was presented with a dozen red roses and a smiley baby who decided to share my bowl of dry cornflakes.

The rest of Sunday passed in slightly better form and today I have had a quiet day at home.  Tomorrow we move into the final 3 days (of chaos) at work before I thankfully have 2 weeks off over Christmas where I plan to fight off the lurgies (cold, migraine, ridiculous tooth ache...) that have caught us all the last few weeks and face 2015 fully fit and raring to go!

Off we go again!

6th Dec 2014

This weekend we have found out we are expecting Doherty baby number 2. 

While it’s a bit of a shock and very much sooner than expected, the man above clearly had other plans for us, I am starting this week happy and excited about the next few months and years to come.  If not in absolute denial of sleepless nights and juggling 2 under 2!

Another one of these!

 At the moment we shall concentrate on Christmas with James and all the excitement and ripped paper that it brings as well as some quality time with family, especially as Ali returns to the UK in 11 days.  Not that I’ve been counting down since the summer...

It is strange to think that something that is about the size of one of James’ fingernails at the moment can already have had such an effect on mine and Pip’s outlook.

Already we have briefly discussed cots and car seats and childcare – the practical things that pop up now we have had a baby.  Last time it was names and room decoration and other more romantic thoughts!

Pip said this weekend that he was looking forward to seeing James as a big brother, it was a very touching thought but not something I’ve gotten my head around yet.

Pregnant – yes, a new baby – yes, getting maternity clothes and newborn things out the attic when we put the xmas decs back up in Jan - yes.  Anything further than that is beyond me at the moment, I’m pretty sure planning for Christmas is the main distraction…

Christmas last year

 I plan to revive The Babycake Tales for this pregnancy but I cannot promise as many home bakes and I’m pretty sure I’ll run out of size comparisons very quickly.  I may simply refer to food generally, possibly baby rice cakes (revolting) or jelly molds (yum!) – 2 current favourites  of James.

So here we go, pregnancy number 2.  Here’s to a fun journey!